Disconnecting!

I spend way too much time on Facebook and this blog and other blogs. So with my all or nothing attitude I am saying 'good-bye'.

I'm disconnecting from this blog and my FB and re-connecting with the real world.

I have been told by some that I make Sung Hyun look bad and thus myself as well. AND that is NOT or NEVER was my intention. I vent and am very open about my relationship and life. I'm not afraid to write about bad things, even if people negatively judge me. It's who I am. I never regret anything I've written or shared here and I want to thank everyone for their comments and support.

So GOOD-BYE and I'll be back (I just don't know exactly when........)

xoxo

Money stuff!

Sung Hyun wanted me to take down the post about money because he thinks that should be private business.

He's afraid my honesty won't portray him in a positive light.

I intended the post to be an honest reflection of 'our' situation -- our struggle! It's easy to write about situations when you are on the top of the world. I pride myself in being honest. I'm not afraid of being judged (I like the dynamic group of commenters).

I didn't intend it to hurt his feelings so if he's upset then I need to respect his feelings and oblige by his wishes.

So money talk will now become a private issue.........until we've figured it out and are ready to share 'our' story.

Sing like no one is listening ;)

You may recall his terrible singing voice here. Or here. Or here!

And it's not getting any better in Canada.

But he still loves to sing!

Personal training!

I had my first 1 hour personal training session. It was stinkin' hard! I took some before photos but not sure if I should post them to be ridiculed on the good ol' blog just yet!

11 more weeks of getting my butt kicked!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

I have the most supportive and loving mother ever! Words cannot describe her importance. She really has accepted Sung Hyun into our family (I think she loves him more than me these days!) and that's great to know. I think I'm afraid to become a mother because I have seen some of the sacrifices she has made for us, her children. I'm the most happy when I know my mom is happy. I hope this is just one birthday of may more to come. The best part of being back in Canada is laughing and sharing moments like these with my family. Now, I'm going to make a special effort to stop and enjoy these moments. Because damn it, I'm so darn lucky!

This year for mom's birthday we took her out for supper and bought her a cake. She said it's the best birthday she has ever had in a long time because her family was all together. It was a great birthday!

I LOVE YOU MOM!

Thanks and shopping!

I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR COMMENTS AND CONTINUAL SUPPORT - THE POSITIVE AND THE NEGATIVE!!

The positive makes me feel loved and appreciated. The negative let's me see things from a different perspective; which makes me become a better person.

Today I had a date day with Sung Hyun. We went to the mall for lunch and then strolled around the mall without a care in the world. I did manage to score some nice deals too which is surprising for someone who doesn't like shopping (or maybe I mean spending money). Take a

look:

purple and black sweater $10

black sweater $25

purple camisole + blue sweater $15

jean jacket $12

flower dress shirt for work (in the summer) $25

I still HATE shopping!

Monday game night and SEX!

Now that I've got your attention.....

I'm getting into the groove of life in Regina. It's taken a long time and it's been an up and down process; a battle per say.

I've learned that there is no easy way to transition into it. We both have been working full-time and were lucky to get decent jobs within the first month of arrival. But I've learned that money doesn't equate happiness. DUH!

Sung Hyun LOVES Canada. I, on the other hand, could go to another country tomorrow. I love the adventure of the unknown and exploring new cultures is really rewarding to me. It keeps me grounded. Make me appreciate diversity. It makes my heart smile.

Regina (where we live -- yes that's the name of my city) is so boring. But I'm really not giving it a fair chance. Since not much has changed since I've left and come back I've just written it off as easy. Friends....check! Supportive parents....check!

I've learned that I don't like comfortable. I don't like routine.

Two nights ago when Sung Hyun and I were arguing over me wanting to live in a different country (not Canada, not Korea) he told me 'no!' There was absolutely no way that he was going to consider such a suggestion considering he just uprooted everything he's known to make a go at life in Canada. Fair, enough! I get his point.

I told him that if he wasn't going to live in a different country for 1 year, then I wasn't going to have children. Fair? Yah, probably not!

(I know I say things that I don't mean when I'm angry)

I need to start factoring MY husband (you know that guy I married) into the decisions. Damn it's hard! (I'm not trying to say I'm selfish and think only of what I want but there are important things in my life that I want to accomplish while also taking into consideration another person. Add in language and cultural barriers and you're batting 0 for 10! So yah, those important things may happen in my life but not exactly when or where I want)

Sung Hyun told me he's not my dog!

AGREED!

I'm probably one of the most honest and open people (regarding about my life). I often talk about things that people don't want to hear. TMI Jen, TMI*.

So when I have people compliment me via facebook, or email, or even this blog about how well I'm doing since having moved back to Canada I have to read again and think 'ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ME?'

Cause FUCK it's been a battle. In fact, my marriage has been a battle. I NEVER experience that 'honeymoon phase' that happens after you get married. It just skipped on right over me (and Sung Hyun!). And I'm NOT at all ashamed to say that my relationship with my husband is hard (cue: haters that want to leave mean comments).

It's like what I always told people in Korea about why divorce was so high in Canada but so low in Korea: "Do you think that married couples in my grandparents generation didn't want to get divorced? I BET NOT! I bet that women couldn't because they were financially dependant on their husbands. I bet that because divorce was stigmatize and pathologized that it made it a lot harder for people to get divorced. BUT don't think for a second that people weren't unhappy and wanted a way out."

I don't want a way out by the way (not yet anyway...hehe). Sorry that was just a tangent. Those happen often in my life.

But I'm not afraid to stand up and say (yell) 'what the fuck?' How do you navigate this life? How do you successfully balance the needs of two people? How do you continue to love the same person? Or have sex with them? (blush!)

I don't PRETEND to be happy. I struggle with happiness. I want so bad to 'just be happy one day'. It's not going to magically happen is it? DAMN!

So in times like these when everyone (okay, most people) on facebook post pictures of their newly-built house, husband, 2.5 kids and white picked fence, I can't help but wonder what is it that they are not sharing? Or why it is they are not sharing? Why do we have to create a life that is picture perfect to others? Why are we so afraid to display our weaknesses?

So I've been thinking about writing a book. About myself - weaknesses and all. It would go something like this:

Perfect on the Outside!

One girls tale of life and love in a foreign country OR

Finding love in South Korea (kind of)

Chapter 1: My relationship is so perfect it would make you all gag

Chapter 2: The break-up, the make-up, the rebound (that I married!)

Chapter 3: We everyday Canada style good-bye (long story - you'd have to read this chapter if you wanted to find out)

Chapter 4: Something else (reader's suggestions)

Chapter 5: (more reader's suggestions - like other juicy stuff you want to know about me)

Chapter 6: Having sex on your honeymoon is overrated

(a whole chapter devoted to SEX - or lack of!)

Chapter 7: Or maybe 2 chapters about SEX

Chapter 8: Living with your in-laws

Chapter 9: something else about my adventure in Korea.

Oh, damn it! I can't think of anything else that I could write about.

Any readers if I wrote said book?**

_______________________________________

And to think, this post got starting with me wanting to talk about playing Monopoly with my family on Monday night!

*TMI = too much information!

** p.s. I'm totally not joking about the book. Or about the juicy details either ;)